Madoff Secretary Sings
A Mother’s Day ‘Squeal’-aria for Ruthie

By Shelley L. Ackerman
[From my 'Shimmering Stars' column in The Westchester Guardian, © 2009]

SHELLEY ACKERMAN
Photo: Rich Press

God Bless Eleanor Squillari, and her guts. Though no birth date is available, Squillari is reportedly 59, and in her second Saturn return. I know, I know- I shouldn’t judge the Madoffs, but how can anyone resist? They’re the ultimate archetypes for these horrific economic times in which all of us are asking “what the hell happened?” As far as the Madoffs are concerned, Madoff’s secretary Eleanor Squillari knows a lot about what happened. With her name phonetically dictating her destiny, Squillari (born to squeal?) is shedding a lot of light on what Ruth Madoff knew: which in a word was “everything”. Click here for Squillari’s interview on ABC’s Good Morning America. And my favorite Ruthie vignette: Mama Madoff returning 15 Chanel bags at Bergdorf Goodman.

Ruth Madoff - Jail Visit

In case you’ve forgotten, both Bernard and Ruth Madoff were born under Taurus, the sign of the bull. Many of their yachts and other prized possessions carried the name “Bull”. Here’s my March 12 missive on The Insatiable Madoffs.

I had a psychic flash this week, that Bernard Madoff was Benedict Arnold in a previous life. Check out the eerie resemblance in these two photos:

Bernie Madoff and Benedict Arnold

I really hate to say “I told you so”, but I knew back in 1999, the very second that I became aware of George W. Bush’ face, that if he got anywhere near 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, the destruction would take decades to fix. And though the Dems (and Bill Clinton for that matter) contributed and/or complied with the policies that allowed greed to rule the day, Bush and Cheney spearheaded and accelerated the process more efficiently than anyone.  And now almost everyone is paying the price. I say almost, because it is becoming increasingly clear that these monumental bailouts are not necessarily reaching those who need it most. And is it really that surprising? To get the real skinny on what has gone down and continues to go down re: these bailouts, you must read 'The Wall Street Bailout is the Greatest Heist in Monetary History' Joan Juliet Buck’s all important interview with Naomi Klein on Wowowow.com.

My Mom and Dad
1951

On The Full Moon in Scorpio,
Moon-Venus Fire Trine Gives Mother’s Day ‘Pizzazz’

Though it wasn't quite as bad as Grey Gardens, my mother and I had a rough time while she was alive. I do miss my mother (who died at 52 in 1983), especially on Mother’s Day. I wish I had known then what I do now, and I wish I could have helped her more. She would have loved the International Women’s Writing Guild, and I would have insisted that she come to the annual “Remember the Magic”conference at Skidmore College. If you love your mom, think about bringing her or sending her for a week she’ll never forget. Here’s the brochure.

Check out Karen's Whimsy

Your Mamma’s Planets & Stars:

In ancient times, all holiday celebrations were born of the cycles in nature which align with the cycles in the heavens. For example: Saturnalia was celebrated at the Winter solstice, Beltane at mid-spring, etc.

This holds true today, as most of our modern ‘man-made’ holidays are in sync with astrological rulership. For example: Labor Day is in September during Virgo, the sign that rules work; the ancient Samhain (Sawhen) celebrated during bewitching Scorpio has morphed into Halloween; Candlemas has evolved into Groundhogs Day, and Valentines Day is during Aquarius, the sign that rules friendship (a precursor to love).

For even greater precision, let’s ask Congress (and the greeting card companies of the world) to consider moving Father’s Day to August (during Leo month) and replace it with a “Siblings’ Day” for June (during Gemini). Mother’s Day should be celebrated on a Monday (Moon-day) or a Friday (named for the Norse goddess of love and beauty Freya).That being said, Mom for the most part is aptly honored close to the Pagan Beltane celebration, during the earthy and fertile time of Venus ruled Taurus, when the lushness and splendor of Mother Earth is in full bloom.

Astrologically, The Moon and Venus are the planets which most represent the feminine qualities. Venus represents what attracts us, who we love, and that which is sweet to us: The Moon represents the need for safety and security as well as the mothering principle itself. While Sun Signs are useful in understanding the themes that are central to you in this lifetime, the placement of the Moon describes how you experienced the mother you had and what you require to feel safe, secure, and grounded in the world.

Mothering by Sign: A Primer (Scroll down for horoscopes)

Sure, some signs are more traditionally maternal than others (Cancer, Taurus), but all signs of the zodiac are capable of being good moms and each has unique mothering skills to bring to the table. To celebrate Mother’s Day 2009, here’s an astrological primer for you and Mom:

Aries Sun:

Strength: bold, vibrant, energetic and empowering
Weakness: Impatient, not always able to tune into another’s feelings, may feel too responsible for own mother’s happiness

Aries Moon:

To feel safe needs: to feel active and alive, thrives on continuous activity
Mothering Style: Exciting, stimulating, on the move

Gifts for Aries (Sun or Moon):

Aries women (Diana Ross, Mariah Carey) remain youthful, physical, and hot-headed forever! Mom on-the-run Sarah Jessica Parker never let pregnancy get in the way of her day job on Sex in the City! Karate Class, Gym membership, Fencing lessons, Cutlery, Something red and wild, Hats, Hair accessories, a nifty daily planner to keep her busy schedule organized.

Taurus Sun:

Strength: Steady, warm, dependable, affectionate
Weakness: Stubborn, self-indulgent, and ‘dense’

Taurus Moon:

To feel safe needs: Consistency, Good food, many creature comforts, a substantial steady income
Mothering Style: grounding, comforting, sensual, soothing

Gifts for Taurus:

Taurus Moms (Jessica Lange, Debra Winger, Coretta Scott King and Tori Spelling) are sensual in their approach. The physical bonding between mother and child is highlighted in Venus-ruled Taurus: Gourmet brunch or dinner at a very fine restaurant, all-clad cookware, expensive perfume, 1000 thread count sateen sheets; a luxurious day at a spa.

Gemini Sun:

Strength: Very bright, playful, funny and resourceful
Weakness: Crazy-Making, immature, distracted, pulled in many directions

Gemini Moon:

To feel safe needs: Mobility (some Gemini moons are more at home in their car than anywhere else), language, words, self-expression
Mothering Style: communicative, educational, loves through literacy

Gifts for Gemini:

Multi-tasking Gemini Moms (Annette Bening, Angelina Jolie, and Joan Rivers) love a good book and staying in touch: the latest gadget, wireless accessory, new cell phone/blackberry with the works, a year of direct TV, or a new car- after Mercury goes direct on May 31.

Cancer Sun:

Strength: Sensitive, psychic, emotionally present
Weakness: Emotionally demanding, dependent, maudlin, a Drama Queen, easily feels abandoned

Cancer Moon:

To feel safe needs: a safe haven, emotional connection to loved ones
Mothering Style: cradling, enveloping, loves to provide the basics- food, shelter, and love.

Gifts for Cancer:

The natural ‘matriarch’ of the zodiac (Rose Kennedy, “Octomom” Nadya Suleman), The lunar-ruled sign of milk and motherhood would adore a trip to her ancestors’ country of origin: trace your family roots and make a gift of what you’ve discovered, an aromatic milk-bath, sterling silver (as in silvery-moon, get it?), indulge her reminiscences of the past-one more time!

Leo Sun:

Strength: Radiant, joyful, proud: can provide children with a strong sense of belonging and of being important
Weakness: may need too much attention or be too concerned with appearances & what others think, the stage mother who needs to be the star herself (The 'Mamma Rose' syndrome).

Leo Moon:

To feel safe needs: creative expression and recognition (Barbra Streisand has a Leo moon), expensive ‘royal’ surroundings, to brag a little, spending money
Mothering Style: doting, indulgent, loyal, wants the best of everything for her ‘cubs’

Gifts for Leo:

Like Lionesses with their cubs, Leos LOVE being Moms (Madonna, Jackie Kennedy, The Queen Mum, Kathy-Lee Gifford). Get your Royal Highness/Queen of the Castle Mom first-row Theatre tickets, spectacular new lighting for the living room, a tiara, a professional family photograph with make-up artist/stylist to add oomph to her natural sparkle!

Virgo Sun:

Strength: Health comes first, Practical, attentive, observant, can see what the doctor missed.
Weakness: critical, intolerant, over-analytical, demands perfection of self and others

Virgo Moon:

To feel safe needs: a good working routine, cleanliness, order, time and space to process
Mothering Style: thorough, efficient, caring, reasonable.

Gifts for Virgo:

Habitually in service to others, Virgo Moms (Gloria Estefan, Ricki Lake) often put themselves last and work many jobs to provide for their brood: She’s appreciate a gift certificate to a health food store, assistance in the kitchen or garden; and though she may protest, help her purge and de-clutter with the professional organizer of her choice. You’ll really make her happy by cleaning the bathroom, the oven, and washing the windows.

Libra Sun:

Strength: Pleasant, Fair, inviting, social & welcoming
Weakness: unstable, demanding (perfection from others), Can be emotionally ‘cool’ and detached

Libra Moon:

To feel safe needs: Objectivity, distance, tranquility and beautiful surroundings
Mothering Style: delicate, cultured, refined, cool.

Gifts for Libra:

Libra Moms (Gwyneth Paltrow, Susan Sarandon, Eleanor Roosevelt, ‘Big Edie’ Beale) insist on equality and strive to balance the demands of motherhood and work with their ongoing search for truth and their strong need to keep the romance alive with their significant others. They love beauty and insist on keeping their mind active: Art work or classes fit the bill, Museum passes, a gift certificate from her favorite book outlet, a romantic evening out with Dad (or her new beau), if you can- a weekend getaway.

Scorpio Sun:

Strength: Powerful, can handle anything, a healer,
Weakness: overwhelming, possessive, mistrusting, interrogative, controlling

Scorpio Moon:

To feel safe needs: alone time, their emotional boundaries respected, time to learn to trust you- once they do, you’re in
Mothering Style: deep, consuming, intense, can provide well, reassuring.

Gifts for Scorpio:

Don’t try to keep your secrets from your Scorpio Mom (Hillary Clinton, Julia Roberts, Whoopi Goldberg, Demi Moore), it just won’t work: They’d really appreciate: A psychic reading, tarot deck, a treasure hunt, an scuba diving in the Caribbean, expedition in a submarine, a tour of Fort Knox, the Kremlin, the Pentagon, or King Tut’s tomb; Luxurious dark velvet drapes, a safety deposit box (to store her secrets), mystery books, Privacy =) .

Sagittarius Sun:

Strength: Upbeat, optimistic, adventurous
Weakness: Preachy, pedantic, annoyingly cheery, intolerant, judgmental

Sagittarius Moon:

To feel safe needs: Room to expand, emotional freedom, frequent travel
Mothering Style: Inspiring, encouraging, will do anything for child’s education (Aquarian Oprah has the moon in Sagittarius)

Gifts for Sagittarius:

Keep your Sagittarian Mom (Christina Aguilera, Tina Turner) happy by keeping it moving. Your ‘archer’ mom will not tolerate being fenced in! Get her a trip to a new destination, tuition for the college course she’s been talking about, a subscription to a lecture series, a soap box & a rapt audience to listen to her ‘teachings’.

Capricorn Sun:

Strength: Wise, responsible, seasoned; if emotionally mature, a huge heart that has ‘been there’
Weakness: cold, gloomy, depressive, uncommunicative

Capricorn Moon:

To feel safe needs: structure, work, an ongoing sense of accomplishment. Many Capricorn moons like working at home and sleep near their desk
Mothering Style: Organized, is a disciplinarian who assigns chores; likes putting kids to work for the family business.

Gifts for Capricorn:

Your Cap mom (Gayle King, Michelle Obama) would value a rare book, a special bauble from an estate jewelry sale, an art piece with documented history, anything recycled (Capricorns hate waste), and the best gift of all: Great news about your latest scholastic or professional achievement.

Aquarius Sun:

Strength: Encourages their kids’ individuality, innovative, tolerant, you can be who you are.
Weakness: Cranky, unpredictable, inconsistent, ‘out-there’, distant

Aquarius Moon:

To feel safe needs: freedom, variety, extended families, community
Mothering Style: avant-garde, futuristic, progressive, inclusive (Cancerian Princess Diana had the Moon in Aquarius)

Gifts for Aquarius:

Something clever and intelligent that would honor what you know about their vision for the future; Keep progress and the element of surprise in mind, it speaks to the unconventional side of Aquarian Moms (Yoko Ono, Vanessa Redgrave): Tickets to “Hair” on Broadway, or the CD of the score; A telescope or a day trip to the Planetarium; an excursion to the Bohemian part of town, a gift of the wildest outfit-sans your criticism.

Pisces Sun

Strength: Empathetic, compassionate, sensitive, great coping skills, the consummate multi-tasker
Weakness: all-over the place, frantic, over-extended, worrisome

Pisces Moon:

To feel safe needs: Emotional validation, spiritual foundation, a sanctuary
Mothering Style: Gentle, aware of other realms, psychic attunement, sweet

Gifts for Pisces:

Soulful Pisces Moms (Vanessa Williams, Gloria Vanderbilt) have suffered plenty and would appreciate a little acknowledgment for the sacrifices made for their kids. Show you care with a trip to the ballet, foot massage or reflexology session, pedicure,  a series of dance classes, state of the art digital camera.

Chart: Full Moon Scorpio
Click for larger view

Bonus: 2009 Astro Crib Sheet

Full Moon Horoscope May 7-13, 2009
Note: Mercury is retrograde May 7 through May 31st